108 | Changing the World with Dr. Brittany Bankhead

About the Guest

Dr. Brittany Bankhead is an accomplished trauma surgeon known for her resilience and determination. She is a double board-certified academic trauma surgeon with an impressive history that includes transforming setbacks into stepping stones for success. Despite early challenges in her academic journey, including starting in an international medical program, Dr. Bankhead went on to complete her residency at prestigious institutions such as the University of Texas at Austin and a fellowship at Harvard Medical School. Beyond her medical expertise, she is an educator, researcher, entrepreneur, and a social media influencer who advocates for authenticity and balance in professional and personal life. Currently, she is a part of the Medical University of South Carolina.

Episode Summary

In this riveting episode of "Becoming UnDone," Dr. Toby Brooks interviews Dr. Brittany Bankhead, who shares her inspiring journey from struggling undergrad student to a double board-certified trauma surgeon. The episode sheds light on Dr. Bankhead's fortitude and willpower as she navigates the trials of medical school in the Caribbean, eventually securing a fellowship at Harvard. Her story is a testament to perseverance, evidenced by the uplifting message she later shared publicly, challenging naysayers who doubted her potential. Throughout her journey, Dr. Bankhead has embraced vulnerability and authenticity, carving a path that inspires budding medical professionals and beyond.

Moreover, the conversation delves into the personal aspects of Dr. Bankhead’s life, including her experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic as an ICU fellow in Boston. Her candid recounting of the profound personal and professional challenges faced during that time underscores the importance of mental health support in high-stakes environments. She discusses her journey of self-discovery and resilience that led to a rekindled marriage. By openly sharing these impactful experiences, Dr. Bankhead emerges as a beacon of hope and strength, advocating for authenticity and balance in multifaceted roles as a mother, surgeon, and emerging entrepreneur.

Key Takeaways

• Dr. Brittany Bankhead's journey from international medical school to Ivy League fellowship is a story of perseverance and determination against the odds.
• The importance of authenticity and embracing one's true self in professional settings is highlighted as a key to feeling a sense of belonging and maintaining mental well-being.
• Dr. Bankhead's experience during COVID-19 emphasizes the need for healthcare professionals to have access to mental health resources, considering the high stress and emotional challenges they face.
• A testament to second chances, Dr. Bankhead's remarriage to her husband illustrates personal growth and the importance of self-awareness in nurturing relationships.

Notable Quotes

1. "It's a pretty story on the other side, because now I can sit here and say, oof, that gave me grit. Oof, that gave me resilience."
2. "It turned out that once I started being me, then I felt like I belonged a lot more."

Resources

• Dr. Brittany Bankhead on Twitter and

Transcript

0:00:04 - (Brittany Bankhead): This is becoming undone. It's a pretty story on the other side, because now I can sit here and say, oof, that gave me grit. Oof, that gave me resilience. But in the moment, it was tough. Old me would have stuffed it away. But those lessons of no, like, something is off and you're not getting it. I was really struggling with everything. Some PTSD that had happened during COVID and with imposter syndrome at work, I really struggled. All those things combined, it just led us apart.

0:00:45 - (Brittany Bankhead): And so we ended up getting divorced one day on a Sunday afternoon. I had actually taken a nap on his couch while he was doing stuff with the kids earlier. I just woke up and I felt different. And we sat at the pool that day and I looked at him and I kind of went through the checklist in my head of everything I was looking for in a life partner and who I was. And then I realized, oh. Oh, you. You're who I'm looking.

0:01:29 - (Toby Brooks): Hey. Welcome back to another episode of Becoming Undone, the podcast for high achievers who don't let setbacks stand in the way of massive success. I'm your host, Dr. Toby Brooks, a speaker, author, and professor, but maybe most importantly, a relentless learner fascinated by what makes high achievers tick. And let me tell you, I'm thrilled you're joining me today. For over two decades, I've worked as an athletic trainer and a strength coach, from high school to pro sport settings.

0:01:54 - (Toby Brooks): I've seen the wins, the losses, the moments that fall somewhere in between the heartbreaking setbacks, the inspiring comebacks, and all the stories in the middle, becoming Undone is a space for those who dare bravely risk mightily and grow relentlessly. Each episode, I bring you a new guest to explore how failures and adversity can become the fuel that power us to success. While lots of us have been programmed to avoid failure at all costs and to never talk about them in the event that they do happen.

0:02:22 - (Toby Brooks): Here, we lean in hard and we learn the powerful lessons that they can teach us. This show is my way of sharing insights into the mindsets of high achievers, lessons that can not only inspire us, but also equip us with strategies to navigate our own journeys so we can understand what it means to truly become undone and come back stronger. I'd like to emphasize that this show is entirely separate from my role at Baylor University.

0:02:47 - (Toby Brooks): It's my attempt to apply what I've learned and what I'm learning and to share with others about the mindsets of high achievers. You know, it's been a minute since I've joined you here. Truth is, although I haven't been dropping new episodes on Becoming a done, I have still been releasing new episodes on my brand new solo short form podcast, the Professor's Playbook. You can find that show anywhere. You can find this one. So if you're interested in shorter episodes and quick, actionable tips on learning and growth, maybe check that one out.

0:03:19 - (Toby Brooks): But back over here on the mothership, I have a real treat for you today. Although I think I say that about every guest and it's true. But the story of Brittany Bankhead is absolutely phenomenal to me. If you met her today, you'd think she's bright, she's young, she's a highly successful surgeon, she's got a growing presence as a social media influencer, not to mention balancing her roles as a wife and a mom.

0:03:43 - (Toby Brooks): You'd be tempted to think someone like Dr. Bankhead has it all together. And you'd be right. But it hasn't always been that simple. When it comes to resilience, purpose, and making an impact in the face of adversity, few people embody those traits quite like Brittany. She isn't just a trailblazer in her field. She's a beacon of hope and determination for those following in her footsteps or serving beside her as they navigate their own unchartered waters.

0:04:09 - (Toby Brooks): In this conversation, we'll dive deep into Brittany's story. We'll talk about her path to becoming a surgeon, the defining moments that have shaped her perspective and the lessons she's learned about grit, purpose, and the importance of staying true to yourself even in the most difficult circumstances. Whether you're in medicine, education, business, or just looking for a dose of inspiration, I think you'll find that Dr. Brittany Bankhead's story will resonate with you on a profound level.

0:04:35 - (Toby Brooks): So grab your headphones, settle in, get ready for another powerful conversation here on Becoming Undone, episode 108 with Dr. Brittany Bankhead.

0:04:45 - (Toby Brooks): Joining me today is Dr. Brittany Bankhead, a renowned trauma surgeon, educator, researcher, entrepreneur, you name it. Her work's been at the forefront of.

0:04:53 - (Toby Brooks): Medicine and public health.

0:04:55 - (Toby Brooks): She spent her career literally saving lives in some of the most high pressure, high stakes environments imaginable. And we'll get into that. But her story doesn't stop at the or, it doesn't stop at the er. Her journey has been shaped by unique challenges. She's a leader, a mentor, and just an awesome human. So, Dr. Bankhead, thank you so much for joining me today.

0:05:15 - (Brittany Bankhead): Well, thanks, Toby.

0:05:17 - (Brittany Bankhead): I mean, I might Come back more often if I'm going to get an intro like that.

0:05:21 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, well, we were talking a little bit off camera before the show, and you and I go back a few years, worked on some cool things together in your entrepreneurial space, and I wanted to tell your story then, but so much has happened, so I'm really glad that we get to dig in. I always start with just kind of an easy one to get us rolling. What did you want to be growing up and why?

0:05:45 - (Brittany Bankhead): I don't know. I. It's.

0:05:47 - (Brittany Bankhead): It's kind of lame, I guess. I always wanted to be a doctor. I think when I was in free time, maybe was the only time I didn't want to be a doctor, but I wanted to be a nurse half.

0:06:00 - (Brittany Bankhead): The day and a teacher half the.

0:06:02 - (Brittany Bankhead): Day, because that was. That seemed reasonable. And then after that, I wanted to be a doctor my whole life. Did you get to do the teacher halftime thing, too? Because I'm an academics like you.

0:06:14 - (Brittany Bankhead): Like you.

0:06:15 - (Brittany Bankhead): And so I still get to teach a lot, so I do.

0:06:19 - (Toby Brooks): Your life's a dream come true. You became what you wanted to be. Yeah, I interviewed my son at one point in his childhood. He wanted to be the king of the world. So it's interesting you've had that clarity from the jump. So with that in mind, you don't get into medical school by just showing up to class. You're a high achiever of high achievers. So talk me through the beginning of your story and where those dreams started to really shape up for you and become a reality.

0:06:52 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, my story is not super conventional.

0:06:56 - (Brittany Bankhead): Honestly, a lot of. Well, I feel I'll backtrack on that a little bit.

0:07:02 - (Brittany Bankhead): A lot of what you see publicly and outwardly for people in my profession is this beautiful story that evolves when I worked really hard and I studied and I got good grades and I got good MCAT scores and I went to a wonderful medical school and residency just fell in my lap and here I am. But that is honestly not always the case, and that was not the case for me. I did really great in high school and in undergrad, I took a really big hit in the game of life because I went to Texas A and M.

0:07:46 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I realized I did not actually know how to study. I had just gotten good grades because I would listen and regurgitate, and that worked for me. But it turns out you can't do.

0:07:59 - (Brittany Bankhead): That for forever, and at some point.

0:08:02 - (Brittany Bankhead): It'S going to bite you if you don't know how to study. I was having A great time. I graduated a year early, so I was barely 16 when I got my acceptance to Texas A and M. And then I went and I was barely 17, so I had to literally like email home a permission form to like go on a weekend retreat with some of my friends and this organization. And I just. I learned the hard, hard way and I kind of stuck my head in the sand and I didn't deal with the grades that were coming in and I wasn't failing, but I wasn't doing great and certainly not good enough for medical school. So when the end of college came and it was like, what are you going to do?

0:08:38 - (Brittany Bankhead): My MCAT was not stellar. My undergraduate here was not stellar. And I had. I was kind of at a fork in the road of do I keep trying or do I do something else? I'm. My mom always told me, well, what.

0:08:58 - (Brittany Bankhead): Else do we want to do?

0:08:59 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I would mention the list of possibilities and she said, well, is that what you want to be doing during the day? And I would think, no, no, it's not.

0:09:13 - (Toby Brooks): I'm going to do what I do and just wedge myself right in here for a sec, if you don't mind. If you were to meet Brittany today for the first time, I'd predict that you'd walk away with two prevailing thoughts. First, this lady is bright. She's an incredible mind, as evidenced by her numerous and versatile accomplishments as a surgeon, as an entrepreneur, a scholar, an educator. The second thing I'd say is that she's real.

0:09:37 - (Toby Brooks): Medicine is overflowing with ego. And while Dr. Behnkhead clearly has a confidence about her, she's approachable and authentic. It's a refreshing and welcoming combo that is impactful, not only for her patients, but for her colleagues, her family, and her friends. I'll be honest, I didn't know this aspect of her story much before our interview. You heard her mention it. She didn't breeze through undergrad.

0:10:01 - (Toby Brooks): She didn't ace the MCAT at first, and she didn't land a highly coveted spot in an elite medical school. Not at first, anyway. In a celebratory post on X dated October 26, 2023, a beaming Dr. Bankhead toasts the camera with these words in the tweet or whatever the hell we call posts on X these days. My undergrad pre med counselor told me I'd never get into medical school, that I should find a different career.

0:10:31 - (Toby Brooks): Today I am officially a double board certified academic trauma surgeon. Where there's a will, there's a freaking way. Cheers to you, Karen. End quote. And I'd say with certainty, learning this corner of her story just deepens my respect for my friend. It didn't come easy. She earned it. She worked her tail off. Despite the fact naysayers told her she couldn't. Britney was determined to prove that she could.

0:10:59 - (Toby Brooks): And as they say, she believed she could. So she did.

0:11:04 - (Brittany Bankhead): So here I go. I. I know the answer now. And so I did a master's program. I moved to Miami, where I went to Barry University, and I learned how.

0:11:14 - (Brittany Bankhead): To study during my master's program.

0:11:17 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I figured it out. I retook the mcat. I applied to medical school again. This time I had met my husband and we were applying together, and I got into medical school. But it was a great medical school, which, if you're unfamiliar with that, it is still accredited, but not a United States medical school. And so it was much, much more expensive and a lot harder in terms of they would let more people in.

0:11:54 - (Brittany Bankhead): But they still had a standard to.

0:11:55 - (Brittany Bankhead): Uphold in terms of the step scores and the other board scores that you would give afterwards. So they just didn't score at all. If you failed at it, there was no. There was no mentorship. There was no guidance. There was no, oof, let's, like, save this student at all costs. You were moving to a different country, and it was on you to sink or swim, and you were going to be half a million in debt by the end of it.

0:12:21 - (Brittany Bankhead): So, yeah, so I learned the hard way. I. I went to medical school, I graduated. I then started. So that's kind of where my resiliency starts. And then I realized I wanted. I. At first, I wanted to be a family medicine doctor. I loved shadowing the one that I did in college, but then I kind of realized in anatomy lab and then throughout my clinical rotations that I wanted to be a surgeon. And it turns out surgical residency is very long and it is hard to get into, especially when you're an international medical graduate.

0:12:59 - (Brittany Bankhead): So I couldn't make it easy for myself. I, you know, and again, my mom asked me, well, what else are you going to do? And I thought, no, I always want to do that. So we applied. My husband and I applied. We tried the couples match. It did not work. We were separated for the beginning of residency.

0:13:20 - (Brittany Bankhead): I had our little kiddo in Dallas.

0:13:24 - (Brittany Bankhead): For what's called a preliminary year, where you kind of get one year of residency and then you're off on your own again. He was in New York, and a spot opened up at UG Southwestern he interviewed and got it. So then he moved to Dallas. And then my year ended. I matched to a categorical position, thankfully.

0:13:47 - (Brittany Bankhead): After all my hard work, but that was in Michigan.

0:13:49 - (Brittany Bankhead): So then I moved to Michigan and was away from them for two years. While I was doing that first two years of surgical residency, I continued to do research with the group back in Texas. And then a spot opened up that program director knew about in Texas at UT Austin. And I made the decision, why wouldn't I do it? Cross country, lateral move to the program of my dreams. And so as a PGY2, I left and joined the University of Texas at Austin as a PGY3.

0:14:28 - (Brittany Bankhead): And then I finished my five, now six years of surgical residency and I applied for fellowship. I learned most of that and so I applied for fellowship. I got into my number one choice at Harvard and the Massachusetts General program in Clinical core. And so my stick, whenever I give a grand rounds on this is from IMG to Ivy League. This is my path.

0:14:59 - (Toby Brooks): What a story.

0:15:00 - (Brittany Bankhead): Here we are.

0:15:03 - (Toby Brooks): Holy cow, did you keep up with that whirlwind of life for the Bankheads? After struggling to gain acceptance into a domestic medical school, Brittany is armed with an iron will and the counsel of a supportive, if not persistent, mom who encourages her to look at the bigger picture. Once Brittany realizes that a career as a physician is what she was meant for, she decides to first pursue a master's degree so that she improve her study skills and get her test scores up. When that still isn't quite enough, she decides to go to medical school in the Caribbean at Ross University School of Medicine in Barbados.

0:15:38 - (Toby Brooks): It's a bold move where she not only has to move thousands of miles from home, she racks up incredible debt in the process. It was a gamble on herself and it paid off by the time she hit residencies and you heard her refer to PGYs or postgraduate years two and three, she landed coveted spots in both Michigan and eventually UT Austin. And then she applied and was awarded a fellowship at Harvard, one of the most storied, prestigious and cutting edge medical schools and medical facilities in all the world.

0:16:10 - (Toby Brooks): To go from IMG or international medical graduate to Ivy League in just a few short years was and is nothing short of remarkable. But she was just getting started.

0:16:23 - (Toby Brooks): Such a tremendous story. I want to go back though. I'm picturing, you know, precocious little 16 year old Britney on a massive, you know, one of the largest campuses, one of the largest enrollments in the world, and you're kind of drowning there. Talk me through what those early Lessons and early sensations of failure or setback were like. And how did they help you moving forward? I mean, really, that's an early time to learn those lessons.

0:16:50 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, yeah, it really was.

0:16:52 - (Brittany Bankhead): And to be honest, I didn't take.

0:16:56 - (Brittany Bankhead): Them as early lessons or early sensations. I was so full of myself and full of my prior abilities, what I had done, that I just assumed it would get better.

0:17:11 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I didn't really talk about it.

0:17:13 - (Brittany Bankhead): With anyone and I didn't like, really digest it and try to make life just go back on the right path. And that was a really wrong thing to do and I really paid for it down the line. And so now that's a really big important thing in my life. Those, the mistakes will continue and the hard lessons will come with owning them.

0:17:44 - (Toby Brooks): Right. I've interviewed a lot of high achievers, a lot of athletes, a couple of Navy Seals, I mean, people in, I'll call them high ego professions. And I think surgery would qualify as a high ego profession. And what I've discovered is to have those sensations of failure is.

0:18:03 - (Toby Brooks): It's human.

0:18:04 - (Toby Brooks): I mean, it's natural to encounter resistance and question self. But in those high ego professions, there's, there's a stigma associated with talking about it. Like, if you show your vulnerability and you show weakness, people are all over you and, and the irony is they're probably dealing with those same doubts, but they will eat you alive because you talked about them going to the Caribbean for medical school.

0:18:30 - (Toby Brooks): I haven't had guests, but I've had some colleagues in the past who have done that. And there's kind of some negotiation within self where you're swallowing pride to a certain extent. And like you said, from that to Ivy League is a tremendous, tremendous accomplishment. When you were navigating that time, what were the lessons learned earlier and how were you applying them perhaps differently and swallowing your pride and going that route and seeing this dream come true regardless of the obstacles and adversity that you're facing?

0:19:05 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, I, I mean, at the time, this was the only option afforded to me as the path to get to where I wanted. And it seemed like it certainly was the best option at the time.

0:19:21 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I didn't look too far in.

0:19:23 - (Brittany Bankhead): The future thinking, oh, this is going to be hard afterwards, this is going to be tough afterwards.

0:19:29 - (Brittany Bankhead): It was just what was right in front of me. And so at the time I was really grateful. The difficulties came both in medical school and then subsequently when I realized what I wanted to do afterwards. And really that that component of non handholding, it's a pretty story on the other side because now I can sit here and say, ooh, that gave me grit. Oof, that gave me resilience. I had no one telling me how to get to where I wanted to go. I had volcanic ash on the ground when I would wake up and I'd have to wear a mask to like, to class.

0:20:16 - (Brittany Bankhead): Hurricanes would be coming and this was a third world country. And so I would have to like, use candles to study because we were still going to have the test on Monday and all kinds of stuff. But in the moment, it was tough and you're dealing with all the other same things as medical. Any other medical student too. So I. My son knows about this example very well that I got an awful, awful score on one of my second semester, like, biopharmacology tests.

0:20:51 - (Brittany Bankhead): It was like a 32. It was awful, awful, awful. And old me would have stuffed it away and thought, no, it's going to be fine. Like, I had been doing okay until then. And. But, but I. Those lessons of, no, like, something is off and you're not getting it. And I buckled down. I talked with my husband about it. I went in for extra help. I studied my butt off and I pulled that sucker up to a B. And I have never been so grateful for a B.

0:21:28 - (Brittany Bankhead): But yeah, it's like that translation of the buckle down and the face it head on was. Was paramount.

0:21:40 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. Well, we were talking a little bit before as well about the title and how oftentimes the title of these episodes emerge.

0:21:48 - (Toby Brooks): You. You hit the nail on the head.

0:21:50 - (Toby Brooks): You said it was a beautiful story after the fact. And I can't think of a better way to describe your journey. So you go from UT and where our paths cross. I remember reading a story about you talking about COVID and what that meant to healthcare practitioners, physicians in particular. Talk me through what that season of life was like for you, both professionally and personally.

0:22:13 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yep, that was one of the, if not the most formidable time in my life. So I was pretty high on life. I had just graduated surgical residency. I now had to kiddos, a boy and a girl. I was married and we moved to Boston so I could attend fellowship for critical care in an Ivy League institution. Like, it was really, really exciting. Boston was great. It was a total change for our entire family. We had this little, like, loft in Cambridge and I would walk across the bridge to work every day. And it was, it was just such a privilege to live there and to train there. It was really, it was a fun thing for our entire family. Like it was just great.

0:23:08 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I got my groove. Like, fellowship kind of wopped me upside the head like it does, but it's fine. Like, by this time, I'm good. I can. I can figure out how it's going to work. We get past the holidays and it gets into February, and there's rumblings, and, you know, everyone around the world had heard rumblings. And so I dealt with them. Like, I've always heard other rumblings. You hear it on the news, people are chatting, whatever.

0:23:35 - (Brittany Bankhead): But then the emails started coming, and it was this, like, surreal life of almost living in a movie where, like, it's coming and I can't even describe it beyond just surreal and it feeling like a movie. So the emails start coming. We're starting to prepare. This is going to happen. And at some point in my mind, it clicks that. Wait, like, I'm an ICU fellow. The ICU is what I do, and I'm in one of the most prestigious institutions in the world, and we're going to get it here. Like, it is going to come here, and it's going to be here.

0:24:25 - (Brittany Bankhead): And so, fine, okay. Like, I'm dealing with that. But then there's a conference in Boston called the Biogen Conference, and that was like the big outbreak that happened in Boston. And I got to work one night, and in my sign out, there was a patient at our hospital, and they had Covid. And we, as the ICU team and the Airway team, were supposed to be evaluating these patients. And, I mean, I kind of talked about it in one of the articles that I was interviewed about, where just, you know, one became three, became 10, became dozens.

0:25:08 - (Brittany Bankhead): And it just completely inundated our hospital and our life. And being. Being a trainee is hard enough, being a physician is hard enough. But, like, this was another level of absolute terror. And for our safety, like, you're. You're not used to going to work and being scared for your life. And we had no idea what that meant for us. And we were terrified, my husband and I, so much so that, you know, schools were canceled and everything was shut down. And we had to show our past just walking on the sidewalk because everyone was supposed to be in their homes. And so I one night told my mom, like, I feel like the country's about to shut down and our kids aren't safe. And, like, if we die or end up on ventilators, my husband's an ER doctor, so we're both seeing this.

0:26:05 - (Brittany Bankhead): Like, they can't stay here, and I cannot be a good mom.

0:26:07 - (Brittany Bankhead): And do this.

0:26:09 - (Brittany Bankhead): Well, and so I flew them across the country. I flew back, like, and my husband and I had a list of passwords and, like, where to find things. And we would tape it to the door inside our apartment so that if we died or if we were on ventilators, then my mom would be able to find them without actually coming into the apartment. And, like, it was. It was terrifying.

0:26:36 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. And to go through that when you're also at the same time trying to deliver care to patients and.

0:26:44 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah.

0:26:44 - (Toby Brooks): And they're sharing.

0:26:45 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah. Learn how to do critical care. Yeah.

0:26:48 - (Toby Brooks): Right.

0:26:49 - (Toby Brooks): And so I have to imagine that that experience, I mean, you. You had a generation's worth of patient care experience rolled into a few months there.

0:26:59 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah.

0:27:00 - (Toby Brooks): And when it's coming in at that pace, it's just. It's unsustainable. You're also concerned about your wellbeing, your family's well being. What happened to conclude that season of your life? And where did you go from there?

0:27:13 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, it. Well, for one, I went to take the board exams for general because, you know, of course there would be a board examination thrown in there for general surgery, and they had to do it virtually, and I had to go buy a new laptop to do it. But that store had been ransacked the night before from other things going on in the country, and so I couldn't buy it. It just. It was a mess. And then I took two weeks off of work and used my own vacation time to study away from my kids, away from everyone.

0:27:49 - (Brittany Bankhead): And then the whole platform failed. So that was misery as well. That's kind of how I concluded my fellowship year. And then I, like, all of a sudden it was. It was done. And we were, you know, in a swing of things with COVID And so I moved to Texas then and was really looking forward to not being in the middle of an urban center and not only doing icu, but like trying to get into my job and do surgery again and be back in Texas. And I was.

0:28:30 - (Brittany Bankhead): I was excited.

0:28:32 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. And again, you're a high achiever. You're coming from Harvard, you're established. There's really not much room there for you to grieve, for you to be vulnerable, to talk about and process what just constituted the last year of your life or however long during that time. How did you navigate the change of new this new that new job, new city, new setting for family, and also trying to sort through the emotions and everything that came along with you that you probably would have preferred to have left in Boston?

0:29:08 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah. I buried it because that's what a good surgeon does. And we bury it and we don't talk about it and we press forward and we move on. And you just don't, I mean, you just, it's like these are hard things and we do hard things and we pride ourselves on doing hard things without anyone else seeing that it bothers us. And, and there's, there's real concern in the medical community about if you start to share anything psychologic related, that it is going to impair your ability to have a state license because then it's out there and then, well, what is the board going to say?

0:29:55 - (Brittany Bankhead): And it historically and even now can be a real hindrance to medical professionals taking care of themselves.

0:30:06 - (Toby Brooks): Right? Yeah. And that's such a tragedy because we know that if you're not able to sort through those feelings and you suppress.

0:30:14 - (Toby Brooks): Them, then they don't ever get dealt with.

0:30:16 - (Toby Brooks): And so you're trying to move forward when anyone in that circumstance would have had a real struggle moving forward. When you've got so much dragging you back. So you end up at Texas Tech and you're in academic medicine, you're now a mentor instead of a mentee, you become involved in the entrepreneurial side of things. So let's kind of go down that path a little bit and talk about how, you know, it wasn't enough to be a surgeon and a mom and a wife and a mentor. You needed to add entrepreneur on top of that.

0:30:48 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, yeah. I, so while I was in Austin, I was teaching Stop the Bleed, which is a national campaign that was organized after the tragedy at Sandy Hook. And it kind of was this campaign organized effort to teach regular, everyday people who aren't trained medical professionals how to stop life threatening hemorrhage. And so I, I did this training and I realized, I don't know that we're, we're saying we're teaching them, but are they really getting, are they really getting it? And would they really be able. When there's, let's call it, when there's blood squirting in their face and when people are screaming and crying like, are they really going to be able to do it? And so I worked with an engineering team when I was at UT just for this. I got an email and it said, hey, do you have an idea?

0:31:44 - (Brittany Bankhead): The engineering students here want good ideas. And I won this little surgery department thing. And so we worked with them for a year and it was really cool. But then I thought that was the end of it. And I wasn't going to do anything with it. But during my time at Harvard, they had some MIT graduates there that was working in the innovation space. And while I couldn't obviously do anything about it because of COVID I watched and I learned. And then I got to Texas Tech and they have a fabulous innovation ecosystem.

0:32:16 - (Brittany Bankhead): And I started to see again the emails and advertisements and thought, you know, I might, I might want to kick this back up again and see where that goes. And so the whole team there kind of pushed us into something called Sling Health at first and it paired me as a mentor. And then Julie, who was amazing, she's a medical student at the time and then an engineering student, a MBA student. And we kind of worked in these little teams to, to work on a project and a problem that was healthcare related. And we started to improve this, this simulator that we had.

0:32:59 - (Brittany Bankhead): And along the way, then I met you.

0:33:03 - (Toby Brooks): Right? Yeah. And that's where our path crossed. And I remember Phil Sizer telling me about you. And also during this time, and we didn't discuss this obviously, but I knew your name had changed and you were going through some personal things. And ordinarily I wouldn't dig here or go there, but because the story has gone the way it's gone, I want you to talk to us a little bit about your marriage and how that initially fell apart and now has obviously not. So talk me through that aspect of your journey.

0:33:37 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, after. Well, so he and I, we met in college and we, like I told you, we were married very early. I was 21, maybe almost 22, barely 22, and he was 24 when we got married. And like you've just heard of, I mean, you've heard a little bit of the story, but there was a lot of life lived and a lot of growing up that we did. And we were kids, we got married, we were barely out of college. And so then whenever we got to Lubbock and now we were starting to become grown up and deal with like real grown up things and dealing with the implications of COVID and dealing with building a house and dealing with some. A bit of identity crisis and myself, I mean, let's be honest, I. I was really struggling with everything.

0:34:48 - (Brittany Bankhead): Some PTSD that had happened during COVID and with imposter syndrome at work and not feeling like I really should be there, just not being sure of who I was as an adult and as a human. I really struggled. All those things combined, it just led us apart. And me, me especially. And so we ended up getting divorced. When I first, when we first were in Lubbock. We just moved into this huge beautiful house that we built, the dream home. And it, it was empty inside and I was empty inside.

0:35:28 - (Brittany Bankhead): And so we still swore that we would be great co parents and we'd always be family. And so we bought houses in the same neighborhood and the neighborhood pool was in between. And we took the kids on vacations together to London and Iceland. And we didn't, you know, all these things. We both dated as well and for two years we had a rhythm. And it turned out that over those two years we were finally able to grow up.

0:36:06 - (Brittany Bankhead): Me and honestly, me more than him.

0:36:09 - (Brittany Bankhead): He.

0:36:10 - (Brittany Bankhead): He is a very self assured and inwardly strong person. But he would tell you too if he was sitting here. We've both just were able as individuals to find ourselves, which really should have happened after college and when we were younger and in an ideal world that's when it would have happened. But we had been so codependent on one another that we had been doing it alongside each other in an unhealthy way. And so over two years that is what happened.

0:36:45 - (Brittany Bankhead): And then at one point we just kind of. We had the kids at the pool one day on a Sunday afternoon and I'd actually taken a nap on his couch while he was doing stuff with the kids earlier. And I just woke up and I felt different. And we sat at the pool that day and I looked at him and I kind of went through the checklist in my head of everything I was looking for in a life partner and who I was. And then I realized, oh, oh, you.

0:37:21 - (Brittany Bankhead): You're who I'm looking for. Like the you now. And it like you're looking for the me now. Like we didn't want the old us, but like. But this you, I. I love. And, and that me you love. And so, yeah, so we rekindle over the coming weeks. We got back together and we remarried this last August in France, in the south of France. We went to Normandy as a celebration for his 40th birthday. And then we went to Paris and saw the Olympics.

0:37:56 - (Brittany Bankhead): And then we went to the south of France and got married with just a few friends and family. And it was absolutely wonderful.

0:38:04 - (Toby Brooks): Such a wonderful. I have goosebumps hearing you tell that story. Just, just the, the realization.

0:38:10 - (Brittany Bankhead): I'll let you know when the movie comes up because I. That's what I hear is that.

0:38:14 - (Brittany Bankhead): Wow.

0:38:15 - (Toby Brooks): I had a previous guest who was the subject for the vow. I don't know if you've seen that movie, but she was involved in a Car accident and suffered complete amnesia and didn't remember her courtship. Cricket Carpenter is her name, but they ended up re dating and recording and then getting married again.

0:38:37 - (Brittany Bankhead): So that's a better story then.

0:38:39 - (Toby Brooks): No, your story is tremendous. I just. I remember kind of watching from afar and seeing the pictures of kind of wedding 2.0. It was just. It was really awesome, and I was so happy for you both. Just really, really cool.

0:38:53 - (Brittany Bankhead): Thank you.

0:38:54 - (Brittany Bankhead): We call it into. Yeah, there's Quantum is.

0:38:57 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. Well, you've also built this social media presence, and I want to talk a little bit about this. West Texas is known for being tough and gritty and probably not a place where a young blonde surgeon gets a ton of respect oftentimes. So you've become a voice for young women who are in the medical profession, for moms who are working. So talk to me a little bit about how that came about and what you're looking to do and where your social media presence is kind of taking.

0:39:30 - (Brittany Bankhead): Well, thank you. I. I don't consider myself to be at the forefront of that, but I have a decent following of people on Twitter, so I guess I am. But I realize, again, with what you were saying about, like, we don't talk about it. We don't, you know, all those things that. I had my first baby as a medical student. I had my second baby as a resident, and it was like. I mean, the first thing that one of my attendings told me was, well, you better make sure your co residents are taking their birth controls.

0:40:08 - (Brittany Bankhead): Never, I felt.

0:40:10 - (Brittany Bankhead): And then I had another attending, so.

0:40:12 - (Brittany Bankhead): Oh, well, I thought you were getting Chevy.

0:40:15 - (Brittany Bankhead): So. So these.

0:40:16 - (Brittany Bankhead): These are the types of misogynistic humans that exist. And so that's how they deal when you tell them you're pregnant, how much less about, like, how are your kids and how are they doing? And I just. I never felt like I could talk about my family. I never felt like I could talk about being a mom. When I was at work and at conferences that I was going to, I was being asked to do presentations, and I was being asked to do lectures, and I was having my own research chosen.

0:40:49 - (Brittany Bankhead): And it was. It's like dark suit after dark suit after dark suit after somber. And we, like, we don't smile, and we, you know, are firm and gruff. And I always felt so out of place. And for the longest time, I felt like I was out of place because I didn't belong, but I felt like I didn't belong because I wasn't being me. And it turned out that once I started being me. Then I felt like I belonged a lot more. I stood out a lot more, but I felt a lot more like myself.

0:41:29 - (Brittany Bankhead): And that person can belong just as well.

0:41:35 - (Toby Brooks): So much to unpack here. First, in listening to this part during editing, I realized that while Britney knew exactly what I was referring to about her being a young blonde female surgeon in West Texas, I didn't exactly frame the question real well. In the time I spent working with both Brittany and her protege, Dr. Julie Chug at Texas Tech, I was shocked and appalled at some of the things that they shared about comments that were made not only by patients, but even by fellow physicians to young female doctors.

0:42:04 - (Toby Brooks): Earlier in the interview, you also heard Dr. Bankhead allude to feelings of imposter syndrome that she had wrestled with coming out of an incredibly taxing fellowship at the height of the COVID pandemic. Given those things, hearing her talk about the stifling feelings of having to pretend to be this stuffy, formal and gruff all the time person, it was a recipe for, at best, a difficult career in medicine.

0:42:29 - (Toby Brooks): At some point, she turned to posting some of these challenges, along with inspiration for young doctors, especially women and mothers who were facing the same, or at least similar struggles themselves. It resonated. Today, she's a respected voice and a growing influencer on X, with more than 14,000 followers, and her posts about balancing the many responsibilities of wife, mother, doctor, entrepreneur, they're inspiring not only to women, but to everybody.

0:42:58 - (Toby Brooks): Over time, she found the strength to stop pretending to be someone she wasn't and embrace the someone she was. Her office, complete with fluffy stools, pink carpet, and poofy pink throw pillows on a comfy sofa, stands out, but it also serves as a visual representation of a woman who isn't afraid to be herself while working within the traditionally stuffy world of academic medicine. And with that vulnerability, she's opened the door to conversations with other young professionals who see her strength as inspiration to feel safe in letting their guard down a bit, and to step into an authenticity that would have no doubt otherwise been stifled, shamed, or stigmatized just a generation earlier.

0:43:39 - (Brittany Bankhead): But I felt a lot more like myself, and that person can belong just as well. So my my whole stick with other women and men like whoever, is that you can be who you are and still be professional. You can still be a loving, caring parent and want to show others a picture of your kid riding their bike or talk about picking them up that day and you're so excited, that's okay. And you can still be a professional surgeon at the same time, you can also wear a purple dress or a pink dress and still be a professional. Those two things don't have to be mutually exclusive.

0:44:22 - (Brittany Bankhead): And as you know, you can have a very pink office or pink pillows or whatever it is and still be a professional. Those things don't have to be mutually exclusive. So I think a lot of girls. Well, I know a lot of girls have really identified with that. And even Julie, when Julie came to my office for the first time and.

0:44:45 - (Brittany Bankhead): He saw that I had a pink.

0:44:46 - (Brittany Bankhead): Rug, and I opened up my laptop.

0:44:49 - (Brittany Bankhead): It was a pink, like, rose gold laptop, and she pulled open her pink rose gold laptop and said, oh, I can know this can happen.

0:44:57 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, girl, of course it can.

0:44:59 - (Toby Brooks): Tremendous. So we worked together for several months as part of that I Corps project, and I considered an honor to just watch the two of you interact. And the model of mentoring that I saw you deliver to her and subsequently watching her flourish, she's an incredible achiever, too.

0:45:18 - (Brittany Bankhead): Incredible.

0:45:19 - (Toby Brooks): But to watch her flourish under your leadership was inspiring. And I know hearing your story, you weren't on the receiving end of that kind of mentoring very often, but to turn that narrative around and deliver it to the next generation is. It's worthy of applause. I'm really so excited to have got the chance to see that. Well, you're not in Texas anymore. You're now in South Carolina. So talk to me about what you and your family are up to today.

0:45:48 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah. So I had been at Texas Tech for four years and was looking for something new and was needing to move forward. And I had talked with my division chief here a couple of times, and I came out and interviewed, and they brought Brian. They flew out. Brian as well. And we stayed at the Charleston place downtown, and we looked at houses, and I spoke with all the people here and heard about their camaraderie and their education model and their innovation and their leadership and their geography. I mean, let's be honest.

0:46:45 - (Brittany Bankhead): It's beautiful. You're. And I was just smitten. Like, totally smitten. And I accepted the job and we moved here over the summer. And so I've been here now for three or four months and could not be happier. My leadership is stellar. I love working with the residents. I've got tons of support. And the. This place is absolutely beautiful. It's crazy to live in a place where people want to vacation.

0:47:18 - (Brittany Bankhead): Like, that's wild things.

0:47:21 - (Brittany Bankhead): Just beautiful. We go to the beach around once a month.

0:47:24 - (Brittany Bankhead): It's. It's just.

0:47:25 - (Brittany Bankhead): It's wonderful.

0:47:26 - (Toby Brooks): It's awesome.

0:47:26 - (Brittany Bankhead): It's a dream come true.

0:47:28 - (Toby Brooks): Well, after all you've been through, if you had a chance to speak some words of wisdom or encouragement into younger Britney, what would you say to yourself?

0:47:35 - (Brittany Bankhead): Oh man, younger Britney, you'd think I would have thought about this before, but I really haven't. And I guess a lot of what I could tell, wish I could tell younger Britney. I tell my kids that probably is how it comes through. I would tell her, work hard, but it's okay to fail. And when you fail, fail, just hold on to it and embrace it because it means that you're going to learn something. So dig in and it's going to get better.

0:48:21 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah.

0:48:23 - (Toby Brooks): Tremendous words of wisdom. Young Britney should listen.

0:48:26 - (Toby Brooks): Listen.

0:48:26 - (Toby Brooks): Well, we're getting close here. I love music and the emotions that it frequently represents. If we were to watch a montage of your life, what song would you pick to play in the background and why?

0:48:38 - (Brittany Bankhead): Oh my gosh, I love Eric Clapton's Change the World.

0:48:47 - (Brittany Bankhead): I can change the world. I will be the sun.

0:48:57 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yeah, I mean that's why it's got good vibes and just the nostalgia of like you fall into your smart home.

0:49:08 - (Brittany Bankhead): Maybe not in the way people expect you to, but you can't.

0:49:11 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, tremendous. Love it. I have a. Basically a mixtape on Spotify of all my guests song pics that I throw in there. So that'll go in there. You'll be on the list. Yeah. What for Dr. Britney Bankhead remains undone.

0:49:30 - (Brittany Bankhead): I, I can't stop. Won't stop. Wait, stop.

0:49:35 - (Brittany Bankhead): I know that you haven't figured that out yet.

0:49:38 - (Brittany Bankhead): I am, well, I'm, I, I love counseling. I like, I will talk about, I love that about this generation now because we talk about our counselors and we talk about our therapy. I'm in counseling now because maybe it's too much, can't stop, long stop. But I, my husband and I are set on this new entrepreneurial side of not just the simulator that you and I talked about, but now my husband has a business called RVU Guru that he is working and consulting to help other physicians maximize their business to get more time with their families.

0:50:16 - (Brittany Bankhead): I am also working with him on real estate and property management. And we have a set list of goals of being able to travel the world, spend like a month at a time overseas with our kids, learning different cultures, different languages. That is what I want for this basil knife and to be with him and to just appreciate one another because we are so happy and I love him very much.

0:50:46 - (Toby Brooks): Such great things and related to that how can listeners connect with you? I'll drop links into the show description and notes, but tell us where we can find and follow your work.

0:50:56 - (Brittany Bankhead): Yes, so it's both on Twitter and on Instagram. B. Bankhead as in Britney Bankhead, M.D. both on Twitter and Instagram. I'm Dr. Britney Bankhead and I am undone.

0:51:18 - (Toby Brooks): I'm thankful to Dr. Bankhead for dropping in and I hope you enjoyed our conversation. For more info on today's episode, be sure to check it out on the web. Simply go to undonepodcast.com ep108 to see the notes, links and images related to today's guest, Dr. Brittany Bankhead. I know there are great stories out there to be told and y'all, I'm always on the lookout. So if you or someone you know has a story that we can all be inspired by, tell me about it.

0:51:47 - (Toby Brooks): You can either surf over to undonepodcast.com click that contact tab in the top menu, drop me a note there, or check out my link tree@linktr ee backslash tobyjbrooks Coming up on the show I'll be taking a bit of a break from this show to close out the year. We've got a couple of new projects I'm working on, some interviews with some awesome new guests coming up, but for now I'm wrapping up a month long challenge to complete a solo podcast challenge and I'll be working hard there for the next couple of weeks.

0:52:14 - (Toby Brooks): If you'd be so kind to check out the Professor's Playbook, give a listen and let me know what you think. That would be awesome. Otherwise, I'll most likely see you back here in 2025. This and more coming up on Becoming Undone. Becoming Undone is a nitro hype creative production written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. I have an assignment for you. Number one, tell a friend about the show. Number two follow along on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn at becomingundone pod.

0:52:54 - (Toby Brooks): And three listen. Subscribe and leave me a glowing five star best podcast I've ever listened to. Level review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts. Till next time. Keep getting better.