122 | The Science of the Comeback: Rebuild with Purpose and Clarity

Episode Summary

In this episode, Toby Brooks delves into the profound impact of reaching career milestones and the subsequent existential challenges that can follow. Reflecting on his personal journey, Toby describes the moment when achieving tenure, a lifelong academic goal, ironically ushered in a period of stagnation and introspection, leading to a deep existential crisis. This realization of "now what?" profoundly shaped his understanding of professional achievements and personal identity.

Throughout the episode, Toby Brooks shares insights on "The Science of the Comeback," a methodology he developed through personal experience and rigorous study. Centered on the "three Rs": Reflect, Realign, and Rebuild, this method helps individuals navigate the unsettling aftermath of professional accomplishments and burnout. The episode emphasizes the importance of reassessing personal values and crafting a resilient identity aligned with one's true purpose. Toby's narrative serves as a motivational guide for listeners seeking to transition through life's pivotal moments with clarity and intention.

Key Takeaways

• Achievement and Crisis: Achieving significant professional milestones can sometimes lead to feelings of emptiness and existential crisis.
• The Three Rs Framework: Toby proposes a strategic approach for personal and professional comebacks: Reflect, Realign, and Rebuild.
• Identity Beyond Titles: Success isn't just about titles or positions but understanding and letting go of past identities tied to them.
• Purpose and Clarity: Realigning with core values rather than external validation can reignite passion and purpose.
• Continuous Growth: The unraveling of one's identity is not an ending but an opportunity for growth and new beginnings.

Notable Quotes

• "The comeback isn't magic, it's method. There's a science to rebuilding when your world goes silent."
• "Reflect on what was lost. Not just the job or the title, but the identity behind it."
• "Stop chasing applause and start asking better questions. Who am I becoming?"
• "Your comeback isn't a matter of luck or timing. It's a matter of strategy, surrender, and showing up one disciplined step at a time."
• "Because when you become undone, you realize… you aren't done yet."

Resources

• To learn more about Toby Brooks and his work, listeners may want to explore linktr.ee/tobyjbrooks.

Discover more about overcoming professional plateaus and personal growth by tuning into the full episode. Stay tuned for more insightful discussions that promise to inspire and educate on navigating life's pivotal moments.

Transcript

0:00:11 - (Toby Brooks): You ever have a moment where everything you've built just falls apart? I did. Years ago. I hit a wall so hard I almost didn't get back up. And oddly enough, it all started because I'd won. I had worked for years to earn a degree. As a matter of fact, by the age of 29, I'd earned four of them. As a first generation college kid, I really didn't have any idea what I was doing. I was just learning and failing and learning again as I went.

0:00:43 - (Toby Brooks): After bouncing back and forth between caring for patients as an athletic trainer and teaching students how to do it as their professor in college classrooms, I finally was promoted and tenured. For me, it was a milestone achievement. Less than 5% of the world's population earn doctorates, and less than 5% of them get tenure track jobs. And less than 5% of them get promoted and tenured. It was kind of a big deal.

0:01:13 - (Toby Brooks): I'd spent decades of my life to achieve this goal. When I got it, I opened the letter that had been signed by my university president and I read that I had in fact been promoted and tenured. I enjoyed it for all of about 10 seconds. Before I could even allow myself a smile, I sensed the sound of my own voice echoing off the cold walls of my mind. Now what? I was numb for days. But that one achievement sent me into a months long existential crisis.

0:01:49 - (Toby Brooks): I was burned out, disillusioned, stripped of purpose, grasping for identity. For a while, I believed the lie that I was done. The reason I'm telling you this is that through the process, I learned the science of the comeback. Not just through research, but through living it. See, the comeback isn't magic, its method. There's a science to rebuilding when your world goes silent. And if you learn from it, you don't just recover, you rebuild with purpose.

0:02:20 - (Toby Brooks): Let me break it down. I call it the three Rs of every real comeback. Reflect, Realign, rebuild. Reflect on what was lost. Not just the job or the title, but the identity behind it. For me, it wasn't just getting a new position. It was letting go of who I thought I had to be to matter. And that's not weakness. I didn't understand it at the time. That's grief. And naming. It is the first step to healing.

0:02:52 - (Toby Brooks): After you reflect, you realign. Then you revisit the values that got buried under your performance. Stop chasing applause and start asking better questions. Who am I becoming? What actually matters now? This is where the spark comes back. Not from hustle, but from clarity. And finally, you rebuild brick by brick. Not trying to recreate the old version of you, but putting together a better one. One that's built for longevity, for legacy. For this season of your life.

0:03:28 - (Toby Brooks): I tell my clients and my students all the time, you are not broken. You're just becoming undone. And that unraveling, friend, it is not the end. It is the beginning of something better. Your comeback isn't a matter of luck or timing. It's a matter of strategy, surrender, and showing up one disciplined step at a time. Because the truth is, your best chapter doesn't live in who you were. It lives in what you choose to become next.

0:04:05 - (Toby Brooks): Because when you become undone, you realize the hope and the inspiration and the power that lives in the fact that you aren't done yet. Sam Sa.